January ~ sadness...

4 years have passed since I lost my daughter & friend. It is hard most days, harder still in January. We all grieve in different ways. I have found that my way is not the same as my husband's or my son's. Theirs is not wrong, mine is not wrong ~ just different. I get caught unprepared sometimes. Things I had not thought of, or certain places, events, smells, food, colors,etc will stop me in my tracks. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I smile; and sometimes I do both. I miss the time we spent together. I miss her smile, her laugh, her smart, funny, sassy ways. I regret the things I said and left unsaid. I always wish I had worked less and took more time for little day to day things. I am glad for the time we had together. It makes me sad to think of the things she never was able to do. Some because of her health, some because she was gone from here too soon. I think of her all day, in almost everything I do and say. I think sometimes what she would do or say if she was here. She was wise beyond her 16 years. My love to you my daughter.